It Feels Good To Do For Others; 'Great Favors' and how I hope this one beloved person accepts a mysterious, anonymous opportunity.

It makes me feel so good to do things for others. I don't get the chance as often as I'd like, because finances are tight but you know, while I am the person who tries to get the really great gift that is forever treasured, often the greatest gifts cost nothing at all.

 A few hours of your time, a few carefully chosen words of appreciation, a shared home-cooked meal or just conversation over cookies and milk can make all the difference. Sometimes I just find someone who is new to the online MMORPG WoW that I play and I help them figure out how to play their character better, and help them finish a few quests quickly.

Now, more recently, I have made possible progress in a project to help an acquaintance, a project I had thought would be entirely impossible unless I won the lottery. Its like that long-term goal you know you have, the 30-year goal suddenly looms in more of a 6-month span and I am left trembling with excitement that it might actually happen....if all the pieces fall into place. Always there are loose ends to tie up, but of course there is also fear.  

Not fear that it won't happen, although that is possible too; no, I fear this will go forth without a hitch, smoothly, efficiently...and that my acquaintance who I am so fond of, who only deserves the best things in life...I am truly concerned he will reject this opportunity when it presents itself. There are many reasons why he would reject it: the job is 'too hard' (yes Gaelic is difficult to master, even just a few phrases but I have arranged for the best, most qualified of instructors to help) that his schedule is too full, that he is 'too busy'; that he is haunted by the fact that a similar offer last year had a few disappointing aspects for him so he worries about a repeat of that. This I have started should have no financial costs for him, as I said, (nor for me either) this has turned out so amazingly smooth its startling to even me, to have it all be covered like this, should it all fall together, so at least that part is not a concern, for once. And its for a good cause. A charity is involved. I know he likes to help others via charities when he can.

I have started the ball rolling, its out of my hands, progress is being made as I type this. And should it all come together, this acquaintance will be presented this offer by someone else, leaving me entirely anonymous as the initial idea. I will have no inkling if it is accepted or not until I see the finished product. 

 I hope he takes the chance, grabs at the brass ring as it dangles within his reach. Life is for living, do not look a gift horse in the mouth. Take what is offered and be thankful.  The results will be nothing short of phenomenal. Possibly life-changing. 

Please, it would make me so happy if you would just accept what is offered you, pride be damned.

Kids aren't supposed to be hobbies; children are a full time responsibility.

I learned what few manners I got from Girl Scouts. I wasn't raised; my parents were always away, working, leaving us to fend for our own breakfasts before school. I remember lots of times breakfast was Twinkies or ice cream, just to stop the hunger in time to catch the bus. They were too busy to bother with our lives, our sibling fights, the bullies at school, they resented it if we asked for help with homework, so we avoided asking. At least they didn't care if we got good grades or not. 

The bills were always paid, there was always a roof and food and huge amounts of presents under the tree every year. But we really just wanted more time with our Mom, but she was working 2nd shift and sleeping days. Dad would fix our dinners because mom was working, and he wasn't great at cooking. Then he would watch TV all evening until bedtime, ignoring us. 

This may be why we kids hated it so much, resented it so much, when our decade-older half-sister left and got married. She had taken care of us, some anyway. Its not her fault; she had her life to live. 

Mom had a 'good work ethic' always working, plus a new hobby every year: painting, ceramics, lotteries, pottery. I felt many times, then and now too, if she didn't have time to spend on her kids, she should not have had us. I would rather not have been born. 

TV or computer games are not a babysitter and they aren't even minimal replacements for parents. Kids aren't supposed to be hobbies; children are a full time responsibility. 

I will note that of us 5 kids, isn't it 'interesting' that only that older sister ever had children of her own. I am age 47 now and I know it was the right decision for me to not have children.

bright-blue patches in the snow

So, here in Minnesota, Buckthorn is considered an invasive species, to be destroyed every possible chance.

Now, my rented house backs up to the Vento bike trail, and the undergrowth that borders each side of that path is owned by...the city? But yes, its got buckthorn growing there, big and wild, unchecked. I know its buckthorn because I saw the blue-stained pee spots of rabbits in the snow in my backyard last winter.

So I researched the matter and it turns out that in the winter, hungry rabbits eat the buckthorn bark, which has interesting repercussions:

 "..a result of rabbits consuming buckthorn (Rhamnus cathartica), a highly invasive tree in North America. One of the chemical constituents is excreted in the urine, and within a short time turns blue when exposed to sunlight."
[source]


 http://discovernature-teresa.blogspot.com/2013/02/strange-stains-in-snow.html has the best photo; 

So....that's interesting right?  Next winter, I will try to update this with actual photos of my own.

I am a mean, mean wife

Ok, once more I come to the conclusion that I am a mean, mean wife. As I write this, I am gasping trying to catch my breath I have been laughing so hard.

 I know my husband likes to read Harry Potter fanfic, so just a couple minutes ago when I learned online that there is actual fanfic of male pregnancy, I strode into the bedroom to tell Ron about it. Then I shake my head at him and say, you know, everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side. 

And I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed where he is lying and reading, saying 'but this particular grass is not that fun' (referring to pregnancy) as I reach over and I pull on one (or more) of his belly hairs as I say 'and labor pain is a lot worse than this!' and he yelps in pain (I am SO mean) and I laugh and he looks indignant, then he scowls at me; I whoop and run through the house and he chases me. He corners me in the office, he tries to pull certain of my hairs as I am laughing uncontrollably and dodging his hands....and his face is red and he is laughing too and we kiss and he goes back to bed, to read more Harry Potter fanfic.

 And lucky me, no teenagers in existence to roll their eyes at our antics. That was fun.  
Next month, married 21 years!

Its the Little Things

In the Out-Of-The-Blue department, I confide here that in the course of our 20-year marriage, we have, over a decade ago, with the help of a marriage counselor, determined that we must always hire someone else to mow the lawn.

It was one issue that was a cause of the majority of tension, anger (ok, more like fury) arguments and resentment for both of us.
Now, we happily pay someone else to do it, and our marriage is much more peaceful for it. We still have disagreements over other issues, but nothing like the ongoing summer-long battles over the lawn.
  And for some reason, it doesn't translate over to snow-shoveling,  even though we live in Minnesota; he is always willing to shovel the drive and I am always willing to sweep off the porches and throw handfuls of salt down.

 But grass....grass is the enemy in our marriage.

Geek Love

So yeah Ron and I are geeks, nerds and married almost 21 years. Tonight we had a great pillowtalk about the Lawful Good - Chaotic Evil alignment system and attempted to use it to class people and characters we know or have known...such as Dan Savage, Peter Hollens, Dr. Daniel Jackson (SG1), Friday Jones (from Heinlein), Chris Kluwe, Rachel Maddow, George Zimmerman, Edward Snowden, John Boehner, the Boston bombers vs. suicide bombers, my old DnD character that was an illusionist-thief and practical joker.....you know, as you do. And half the time of this chat, I was giving the husband oomox. (That is not dirty, its just nerdy.) 

So yeah, Geek Love, that's what we got right here. So any of you young awkward geeks or nerds, take comfort, loving relationships are not out of your reach. So who is looking forward to CONvergence this weekend? 

Guide on Alignments

The Alignment System