Once upon a time, many years ago (2013 to be exact) I was in an online social group, and when one of the members expressed a regret about being single, I chose to offer up my long-winded advice on how to find a special someone to share your life with.
It was appreciated by the members and I figured I would safeguard the information by posting it here. Maybe it will help others as well.
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Ok [person], you need to update your Facebook to include a real email address, and actually mention your hobbies such as photography and cooking and a cappella music and Peter Hollens, and IMO, get a good pic of more of you than just face, no offense at all intended in this. Just trying to help you in your goals. I don't mean a photoshopped pic, just a real pic.
And IMO do make a decent profile at OKCupid if you feel ok with that. If you do, include a photo, and actually fill out the sections! If you have trouble figuring out what to put in it, ask your sister or female cousin to help you for a couple hours to fill it in well.
All of that is 1.0 info. If you want 2.0 info, ask now, cause I can keep going.
Part one: go on lots of dates with lots of different women/people whatever gender you prefer. Even types you know you would never ever marry, its just dating. Just lots, as in twice or three times a week if you can, even if its just an hour over coffee in a coffeehouse type date.
And IMO do make a decent profile at OKCupid if you feel ok with that. If you do, include a photo, and actually fill out the sections! If you have trouble figuring out what to put in it, ask your sister or female cousin to help you for a couple hours to fill it in well.
All of that is 1.0 info. If you want 2.0 info, ask now, cause I can keep going.
Part one: go on lots of dates with lots of different women/people whatever gender you prefer. Even types you know you would never ever marry, its just dating. Just lots, as in twice or three times a week if you can, even if its just an hour over coffee in a coffeehouse type date.
The goal is to both A. get used to dating enough that you become less nervous on first dates in general. Confidence is attractive in anyone.
B. dating a lot of people means you figure out what you do like, and don't like, in others, whether that means physical attributes, behaviors, quirks, you just want to experience the broad varieties that exist in humanity and see what really appeals to you and what really bothers you in a potential mate.
Now, after 50 dates or more with different people, you will likely have a decent concept of what sort of person you are seeking, and when you find him/her, all the alarms will automatically go off in your head and YOU WILL JUST KNOW you found the one that fits you well. (With luck, they will like you too.)
Part two: join at least one special-interest group that you are truly interested in, and I mean IN PERSON. Not an internet group. I don't care if its about photography, joining a local singing group, stamp collecting or even volunteering at the local animal shelter, get yourself away from the computer and outside into the real world.
Part three: Take a class. You may want to save this one for after your dating marathon, or not, either way. You might decide to go for your bachelor's degree, and that qualifies, but much cheaper is local community education, maybe an 8-class weekly class in photography, or cooking, or Beginning German. Computer skills, dance, singing, accounting, its best if its a class that actually has homework.
Part two: join at least one special-interest group that you are truly interested in, and I mean IN PERSON. Not an internet group. I don't care if its about photography, joining a local singing group, stamp collecting or even volunteering at the local animal shelter, get yourself away from the computer and outside into the real world.
Part three: Take a class. You may want to save this one for after your dating marathon, or not, either way. You might decide to go for your bachelor's degree, and that qualifies, but much cheaper is local community education, maybe an 8-class weekly class in photography, or cooking, or Beginning German. Computer skills, dance, singing, accounting, its best if its a class that actually has homework.
Again, twofold benefits:
A. you learn something new that may impress someone on a date, as well as providing you with a conversation topic on those many dates.
B. oftentimes there are single people in the class you are taking, and its a PRIME chance to ask them out, using the idea that you could use a study partner or a practice partner, in the case of physical things like dancing. Doing homework or practicing together outside of class is great because you both obviously have something in common, ie. the class subject, and you can really get to know someone when you are both working together on goals such as getting homework done or passing the class. And it provides tons of conversation material.
It is beneficial if, when you ask that classmate for help, that you really do behave humble, and needing a little help, not superior. Its the one time when confidence is not quite the right tone.
And I think that is everything but I swear, overnight I am gonna remember something else and add to this. (my darn ADD.) I hope this helps someone!!!!
Ok, this relates to that 'Dating Advice' I posted above.
Ok, this relates to that 'Dating Advice' I posted above.
So, this video is of actor Dustin Hoffman, being very real, on why you should NOT date only physically attractive people. He breaks into tears here, it moves him that much.
http://youtu.be/xPAat-T1uhE [3 minutes 10 seconds long]
http://youtu.be/xPAat-T1uhE [3 minutes 10 seconds long]
