IMHO, Quality Dating Advice by Me

 Once upon a time, many years ago (2013 to be exact) I was in an online social group, and when one of the members expressed a regret about being single, I chose to offer up my long-winded advice on how to find a special someone to share your life with. 

It was appreciated by the members and I figured I would safeguard the information by posting it here. Maybe it will help others as well.

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Ok [person], you need to update your Facebook to include a real email address, and actually mention your hobbies such as photography and cooking and a cappella music and Peter Hollens, and IMO, get a good pic of more of you than just face, no offense at all intended in this. Just trying to help you in your goals. I don't mean a photoshopped pic, just a real pic.

And IMO do make a decent profile at OKCupid if you feel ok with that. If you do, include a photo, and actually fill out the sections! If you have trouble figuring out what to put in it, ask your sister or female cousin to help you for a couple hours to fill it in well.

All of that is 1.0 info. If you want 2.0 info, ask now, cause I can keep going.

Part one: go on lots of dates with lots of different women/people whatever gender you prefer. Even types you know you would never ever marry, its just dating. Just lots, as in twice or three times a week if you can, even if its just an hour over coffee in a coffeehouse type date. 

The goal is to both A. get used to dating enough that you become less nervous on first dates in general. Confidence is attractive in anyone. 

B. dating a lot of people means you figure out what you do like, and don't like, in others, whether that means physical attributes, behaviors, quirks, you just want to experience the broad varieties that exist in humanity and see what really appeals to you and what really bothers you in a potential mate. 

Now, after 50 dates or more with different people, you will likely have a decent concept of what sort of person you are seeking, and when you find him/her, all the alarms will automatically go off in your head and YOU WILL JUST KNOW you found the one that fits you well. (With luck, they will like you too.)

Part two: join at least one special-interest group that you are truly interested in, and I mean IN PERSON. Not an internet group. I don't care if its about photography, joining a local singing group, stamp collecting or even volunteering at the local animal shelter, get yourself away from the computer and outside into the real world.

Part three: Take a class. You may want to save this one for after your dating marathon, or not, either way. You might decide to go for your bachelor's degree, and that qualifies, but much cheaper is local community education, maybe an 8-class weekly class in photography, or cooking, or Beginning German. Computer skills, dance, singing, accounting, its best if its a class that actually has homework.

Again, twofold benefits:

A. you learn something new that may impress someone on a date, as well as providing you with a conversation topic on those many dates. 

B. oftentimes there are single people in the class you are taking, and its a PRIME chance to ask them out, using the idea that you could use a study partner or a practice partner, in the case of physical things like dancing. Doing homework or practicing together outside of class is great because you both obviously have something in common, ie. the class subject, and you can really get to know someone when you are both working together on goals such as getting homework done or passing the class. And it provides tons of conversation material. 

It is beneficial if, when you ask that classmate for help, that you really do behave humble, and needing a little help, not superior. Its the one time when confidence is not quite the right tone. 

And I think that is everything but I swear, overnight I am gonna remember something else and add to this. (my darn ADD.) I hope this helps someone!!!! 

Ok, this relates to that 'Dating Advice' I posted above.

So, this video is of actor Dustin Hoffman, being very real, on why you should NOT date only physically attractive people. He breaks into tears here, it moves him that much.
http://youtu.be/xPAat-T1uhE [3 minutes 10 seconds long]

 

I cannot imagine the mental stability a person has to have in order to do a job like window-washing on skyscrapers!  Wowza.

This photo was the fellow washing our own apartment window back when we were newly moved into our new place in downtown St. Paul, MN.  Everything was fun and new! 

I love the religion I have crafted together. It's mostly Druid but has some other bits in it...

Religion.   Religion as I believe, the whole crafted from several different parts.  It works for me.

Belief systems in play for me...not a fully comprehensive listing. This description is a work in progress. 

Humanism:
Humanism is a philosophical and ethical stance that emphasizes the value and agency of human beings, individually and collectively, and generally prefers critical thinking and evidence (rationalism, empiricism) over established doctrine or faith (fideism).

Feminism: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

I believe all humans are worthy of respect and compassion.
People are from all over the world, from different cultures, different religions, different political systems. Please use tolerance for human variety when interacting. Respect each other!

Druidry:
is a form of modern spirituality or religion that generally promotes harmony and worship of nature, and respect for all beings, including the environment.

Metaphysics:

World as Myth:
The idea of World as Myth was created by science fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein in his book The Number of the Beast. According to this idea, myths and fictional worlds exist as an almost infinite number of universes which are parallel to our own. ..

[ another part: astrology?]

And the empathic thing, but that isn't really religion, is it?

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I am pagan, a Druid. Of course.

So in distancing myself from Christianity, I find myself uncomfortable with the idea of praying to a deity,for a couple of different reasons.

Partly because what I think of a deity is not...what Christians mean by it. And because if Christians really mean when God is all-seeing all knowing

then praying to a supreme being to ask for things, to ask God to alter your circumstances, whether that is to heal a child sick from cancer, or to alter your bad weather, or to help your football team, or to request help for someone you love to get well from her sickness...
Is terrible. If God is omnipotent, then Christians should never pray for things. If 'God is omnipotent', then he planned ahead of time for your child to have cancer, for that weather to occur, for that person to be sick...all these were therefore in his plans and it is wrong of Christians to ask for anything different from God's plan, as well as it would be futile.

I love the religion I have crafted together. It's mostly Druid but has some other bits in it...

Ok, its like four parts: Druidry is a large part, but I also believe in the idea that we evolved from lesser types, I don't know what forms but its there.

Winter Solstice is only for HALF of the world. Summer solstice for the Southern half. :) Love the SACRED WOBBLE of the planet. I believe its the only reason we evolved at all. You want to find other planets with intelligent life? Find planets with a similar wobble. Evolution is spurred by change. The wobble is what creates the seasons; without a wobble, the temperature stays always the same, as it does near the equator and at the two poles currently. 

The moon

Another bit is actually from metaphysics: this gets complex, I will do my best to explain...

First we go tiny: see your arm? inside there is a community of cells, skin, blood, germs, white blood cells, red blood cells, hair cells, muscle cells, all existing in a life of their own, each has its job, each has its goals, each has its reason for existing.

Now we go smaller: Each cell is made of atoms, different sorts of atoms, based on what it does, what it is for, how it reacts to the others around it. Possibly each also has its job, each has its reason for being.

Smaller still? Atoms are not the last...atoms are made up of other things as well, electrons, neutrons, protons, etc. Plasma even plays a part. Gravity and magnetics and chemicals will affect even these tiny parts and cause and effect occur.

for all we know, those parts are made up of still smaller and still smaller parts. But for now: notice that atoms, in their way, resemble solar systems, with the way that parts will whirl around a central part. So we go bigger now: way bigger.

Our solar system is tiny; our Sun is so much smaller than so many other stars are. There are larger solar systems, and our solar system is only one tiny dot, a mote of dust in the larger part that is the ...."The Solar System is located in the Milky Way, a barred spiral galaxy with a diameter of about 100,000 light-years containing about 200 billion stars." (from wikipedia on 'Solar System')

And the Milky Way, our galaxy, is one of millions, billions of other galaxies.

Now, now that we have set the stage with both smaller...and larger...

Think about your brain. We live in a world where we have all, or almost all, see pictures of brains, and our brains neural connections, the ganglia, the billions of branches of brain cells, connectors, the way the electricity flows from one cell to another in time so quick its hard to even measure.

By themselves a brain cell is nothing. An individual thinking thing? no. A brain cell is nothing without its neighbors, without its community it may as well be...a grain of sand.

But it has use. When connected to others in the scheme of a brain, great great things occur, thoughts, ideas, emotions, abilities.

Now, all of the things I have mentioned before, this is true of. Alone, a cell, an atom, even a Sun, is basically useless unless it is connected to others for a purpose, for a reason. It is the community, the interaction that is important, not the individual.

The individual is a tool for the greater purpose of the group. (I start to sound pro-Borg now LOL)

So now I bring it all home to base:
I believe that GOD exists but not necessarily as a sentient being.

I believe that God is the Universe itself, every star, every planet, every leaf on an Earth tree is one cell in the great being.

The Great Being. God.

That is part three of my belief system.

So now we have 'sacred wobble' of our own planet, evolution of the human; the Druid parts that celebrate the changing seasons and the one-ness of nature and all upon the planet.

the idea that the Universe itself comprises 'God'. And now the fourth part.

As I mentioned before, prayer to a higher being, the idea makes me uncomfortable.

Now, of course, you know how a magnifying-glass works, a 7 year old will kill ants with one. Child's play to understand it.

I have come to believe that spells, and prayer, and meditation (and cooking recipes, and instruction books, and MAPS even) are simply tools to help us focus, to focus our busy attentions, and to focus our mind's POWERS not just our thoughts. There is actual power to change the world, and our circumstances, in our brains, our souls, and rituals/prayer/spells, etc. are to help FOCUS THAT POWER on a particular outcome. It bypasses the entire idea of a deity, it's just you on one side, the outcome you seek on the other, and the spell or prayer between.

So when I want to help someone feel better, I focus on 'her' as one of billions on the planet...and then I close my eyes, breathe deep, I reach out with my mind to try to touch as many beings around me as my brain can, from leaves to insects to cells to other humans, gather all of that together (it's not that easy) and use it to FOCUS on that person as I think healing, good warm safe thoughts on her, hoping to help her, if nothing else, to feel better even if it doesn't 'heal' her any faster.

I use not just my own brainpower but the power of every living thing I can gather to achieve the goal. I don't know that it does anything.

I remember the day I did a spell this way, I felt it work. It was awesome. That was over a decade ago. 1997? Sometimes you get knowledge that it worked.

the words, the voice, the rhymes themselves are focusing tools. As is music. The song has guidelines, notes, how it should be sung. This is a type of spell, songs are.

I believe even small rituals are focusing tools. When you gather to sing 'happy birthday' and they blow out the candles on the cake and they make a wish...that is a focus-ritual that makes the wish more likely to come true.

Wishing on a star.  Tossing a coin in a wishing well, it is a way to stop thinking of anything else for a moment, to focus on what you really, really want...and that pause-then-focus, that is a type of prayer.

I still haven't quite nailed down what I think about death. I don't fear it...but I cannot really envision it either.

I just hope...that once I die, that I really do automatically become aware of everything, that I just 'know' everything, how the world fits together, why things work the way they do...all the things I wish I could 'know' right now. Basically, when I die, I want to become the all-knowing part of that Christian God idea.

Fat Yoga

I've been interested in getting into Fat Yoga for a while now.  I don't have a lot to say at this point, just sharing the various articles I have found on the topic. 



Living Large: Hatha Yoga for All Sizes https://www.yogajournal.com/practice/living-large

How This “Fat Femme” Yoga Instructor Is Reshaping The $3 Trillion Wellness Industry https://www.fastcompany.com/40429705/how-this-fat-femme-yoga-instructor-is-reshaping-the-3-trillion-wellness-industry

I Went To A Yoga Class For Fat People—This Is What It Was Like https://www.prevention.com/fitness/a20432956/i-went-to-a-yoga-class-for-fat-people-this-is-what-it-was-like/

free yoga lesson geared toward beginners in their 50s and 60s at AARP YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/aarp/search?query=yoga

How to Start Yoga When You're Bigger Bodied https://www.verywellfit.com/plus-size-yoga-3566736

Sizing Up: Yoga for Larger Bodies https://kripalu.org/resources/sizing-yoga-larger-bodies

This Yogi's 'Fat Yoga' Classes Offer A Safe, Empowering Space To Practice
https://www.self.com/story/this-yogis-fat-yoga-classes-offer-a-safe-empowering-space-for-fatties-to-practice

https://www.curvyyoga.com/about/

Curvy Yoga: A Sequence for Feeling at Home in Every Pose
https://www.yogajournal.com/practice/curvy-yoga-a-sequence-on-how-to-be-at-home-in-every-pose

https://bodypositiveyoga.com/downward-facing-dog-a-guide-for-beginners-and-plus-size-yogis/

Everything You Need To Know About Fat Yoga https://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/everything-need-know-fat-yoga/4/

Body-Inclusive Yoga Classes Fight Against Fat Shaming http://mspmag.com/health-and-fitness/body-inclusive-yoga-classes/

Before You Start Yoga for Seniors https://www.verywellfit.com/yoga-for-seniors-3566737

Body-positive yoga enthusiast wants to help you 'change your life' http://www.startribune.com/body-positive-yoga-enthusiast-wants-to-help-you-change-your-life/418557923/

Fat people can be fit too: meet the personal trainers who challenge every stereotype https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/11/fat-people-can-be-fit-too-meet-the-personal-trainers-who-challenge-every-stereotype

Now There Are Yoga Classes for "Fat" People https://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/news/a39160/now-there-are-yoga-classes-for-fat-people/

Can fat people do yoga? (Query) https://www.thehealthsite.com/fitness/can-fat-people-do-yoga-query-t0216-372247/

How Yoga Changes Your Body, Starting The Day You Begin (INFOGRAPHIC) https://www.huffpost.com/entry/body-on-yoga_n_4109595

Beginning Yoga for Seniors https://www.sportsrec.com/248804-beginning-yoga-for-seniors.html

Yoga: What You Need To Know https://nccih.nih.gov/health/yoga/introduction.htm

https://www.northernyogacenter.com/

Someone at Blizzard made a mistake. We're all human...

[npc=100710]  
[quest=40526]  
 Jewelcrafting trainer Timothy Jones, located in the Crumbled Palace in Azsuna in World of Warcraft

Due to the two new portals inside the Crumbled Palace, which were installed in last patch, the Jewelcrafting trainer and his quest item are difficult to interact with.  Several accidental trips back to the city via the darn portals, it was irritating. 

Has Facebook changed the size of the header for their Groups?

I don't know if Facebook really did permanently change the size of Groups header graphics, or if it is a temporary glitch that will be rectified by Facebook at some later date. Just in case it is permanent, I did my best to figure out what size graphic will work in the new space/size...at least such that it will look all right on a Chrome desktop, since that's all I know how to work with.

These numbers may work for you, or may not. I've been working on this for hours, its 3 am and I'm just a layman without any design or programming training.  #Dedication.
See the graphic below for reference.

If this information is helpful to you and you feel appreciative, you can express it in currency, if you like.   :)    https://www.paypal.me/RLP2 
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1. Make your total graphic area 1350 pixels wide x 700 pixels high

2. Keep design components (text, pictures, etc.) within the parameters specified below:

Upper left corner of design area is 90 pixels down from the top, 10 pixels from left side

Lower right corner of design area is 610 pixels down from the top, 1330 pixels from the left side.

Below is a screen-grab of my test-group page to show how it looks as installed: